


Frost Thaw: Lessons in Drowning

by gaykagome



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, Comfort, Drowning, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Let Kikyo be happy for goddamn once, Light Angst, No Homophobia, No Smut, Sickfic, Soulmates, Water, Winter, all characters are 18, kikyo is a lesbian, starts angsty then gets fluffy, touch starved kikyo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:21:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28395288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaykagome/pseuds/gaykagome
Summary: Kikyo feels perpetually frozen. But when Kagome saves her from Naraku’s poison, she finds she very much likes the warmth. Thawing and drowning are not so different.
Relationships: Higurashi Kagome/Kikyou
Comments: 13
Kudos: 28





	Frost Thaw: Lessons in Drowning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ike](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ike/gifts).



> Happy Inuyasha Secret Santa 2020! This fic is a gift for tumblr user scissorman/Ike on ao3 :D This fic is based on the prompt you provided: “Kagome/Kikyo: Water” 😊 I also added a dash of winter and a sprinkle of Christmas! I had a lot of fun writing this, and I hope you like it!!!! This was supposed to be short and sweet but my kagkik brainworms compelled me to ~16k words so here we are lmao.
> 
> PS please read his AMAZING kagkik secret santa gift to me if you love phenomenal writing as much as I do ( https://archiveofourown.org/works/28477935 )
> 
> The narration is third person limited perspective, with tense switches (Kikyo = present tense, Kagome = past tense). 
> 
> Tone starts angtsy then gradually gets lighter.
> 
> DISCLAIMERS:  
> 1) I haven’t watched Inuyasha in a long time, so consider this an AU that looks deceptively like canon but isn’t canon-compliant lol.  
> 2) I haven’t watched Hanyo no Yashahime, so I don’t go to that school and don’t know what the popular kids are doing there.  
> 3) All characters in this work are 18.  
> 4) This work is unbeta-ed  
> 5) I wrote based on the assumption that Christmas Eve is more a romantic holiday in Japan, but I’m sure I don’t do it justice: I am just an American who needed a plot device 
> 
> Frost Thaw quoted from the Scottish Sensory Centre website (the first result I found on google)
> 
> ((Trigger warnings for vomiting and drowning))
> 
> AMAZING artwork by @kirrtash on tumblr! 
> 
> You can find me on tumblr @gaykagome
> 
> Enjoy! <3 <3 <3

Art by [Kirrtash](https://kirrtash.tumblr.com/) (Source: [Pixiv](https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/86917853))

Act I. _Rebirth_

_Frost Thaw:  
“a process of erosion that happens in cold areas where ice forms.  
The water freezes again as the temperature falls,  
and the expansion of the ice causes further expansion to the crack.  
This process continues until the rock breaks.”_

She is dying.

Again.

Kikyo is trying very much not to die, but the odds do not look good.

Naraku's poison seeps from the wound in her chest, tainting the water around her. Although she fights to keep what's left of her soul untouched by the infection, she is losing ground quickly. The miasma creeps into every limb, devouring and ruthless. Still, she fights.

She still has so much to do, so much revenge to exact. Her wrath fails to warm her now though; all she can think about is the cold.

Kikyo is so tired of the cold.

Deep in a secluded pond, the sun’s rays barely touch Kikyo. Her chest does not move with breath, her body sinks without buoyancy, and her bones are chilled by the frigid water — a harsh reminder that her stone body is _not_ alive.

As if she needed any more of those.

Eons could pass, empires could rise and fall, heroes can live and love and die, and she could always remain there. Cloistered by water and eroded by time.

This reality should trouble her more, but she only has the energy to feel tired.

Time passes. She has no way of knowing how much.

Suddenly, a foreign presence pierces the sacred barrier around her pond. Kikyo can sense the pure energy cutting through the miasma like a blade, splitting apart the toxic sludge. She does not have the strength to open her eyes, but she does not need vision to sense how this potent energy carves through the miasma.

The energy is a potent salve, and intoxicatingly familiar in a way Kikyo cannot quite place at first.

She senses the person—yes, it must be a person—from whom the purity radiates swimming to her from the surface.

When their slender fingers radiating pure reiki first graze her gaping wound, Kikyo gasps, a torrent of water sloshing down her throat.

She does not need to open her eyes to recognize who it is, but with renewed energy, she does anyway.

Amidst the purple haze, Kagome floats above; a silhouette haloed in refracted sunlight. Kikyo wonders what could have brought Kagome down here, how she could have even known Kikyo was there. Kagome’s eyes are alight in the darkness, burning with conviction.

Poison leaches between Kagome’s fingers as she pushes down on Kikyo’s wound in her chest. The pink light of her reiki grapples with the purple toxin, attempting to purge it from Kikyo’s body.

Bubbles burst from the Kagome’s lips, and Kikyo realizes it’s because Kagome can’t breathe. Why doesn’t she swim up for air? The water is incompatible with Kagome’s beating heart and starving lungs.

It makes no sense for Kagome of all people to be down here with her, not when she’s done so much, caused her so much pai—

Kagome’s tightening grip on Kikyo’s body sweeps away all thought. Kagome pulls her closer, defying the demands of her lungs. She forces her body to comply, staying in the watery depths.

The phantom ache of breathlessness overcomes Kikyo, leaving her bewildered.

Kagome’s refusal to obey her living body’s needs is wrong, and she wishes Kagome knew that. If there was one kind act Kikyo can do at the end of her second half-life, it would be to not take down any innocent people with her. Especially people who are foolish enough to court poison flagrantly (selflessly) just to save her, a dead woman. A dead woman who is only a hate-colored shadow of her former self. Kagome has only known this version of her, has paid dearly for it even.

And yet, illogically, she is here.

_I was not always like this_ , Kikyo irrationally wishes to say before she dies again. Irrationally, because she is not terribly sure that is the truth.

The penetrating heat from Kagome’s palm finally cleaves through Kikyo’s chest, filling her with light. Tendrils of cleansing power sweep through Kikyo’s wound, her chest expanding with the mass of purifying, euphoric energy. It’s close to what Kikyo remembers having a heartbeat feels like. The warmth from Kagome’s searching, excavating touch spreads throughout every limb in her body.

The soothing weight of Kagome’s spiritual power renders Kikyo thoughtless. As it vaporizes Naraku’s toxin, Kikyo is left only with comfort. Like Kagome has placed her own personal hearth in her chest to keep her warm.

_She’s so warm_. Kikyo thinks. _How can any person be so warm?_

This fresh pulse of power pushes Kikyo’s indignance at Kagome’s reckless self-endangerment into something entirely different: gratitude. For the first time in her second life, and despite all attempts to quell the feeling, Kikyo is hopeful.

For a moment, Kagome appears to her like a powerful but inexplicably compassionate deity, instead of a foolish girl with a hero complex. It occurs to Kikyo that perhaps neither is accurate. Perhaps the truth is somewhere in between. Kagome may not be a goddess, but she is clearly selfless. She is _good_. 

The fact that Kikyo cannot relate to this impulse threatens to reignite the flames of well-worn insecurities. The old ‘o _f course Kagome is superior, she is the version of their soul she never got to be’_ fury that kept Kikyo warm on so many lonely nights, along with her many other furies, welcome Kikyo back like a comfortable companion.

But Kagome’s eyes blaze with determination even as her teeth grit with the agony of denying her lungs air, and Kikyo’s old jealousies dissolve like mist in the sunlight.

With fresh eyes, the rage of insecurity appears to Kikyo less like a nurturing fire and more like a smoldering cattle prod meant only to inflict pain.

Without realizing it, Kikyo’s suddenly gripping Kagome’s arms, begging Kagome to chase out the cold.

Kagome’s eyes flick up to Kikyo’s at the movement.

Kagome leans in to Kikyo’s grip, pressing with more force to eviscerate the poison. Her eyes are pleading with Kikyo, asking her for _something_. Her mouth opens in an involuntary silent scream from the force of her effort.

It is clear Kagome has decided she will not leave alone, and Kikyo is seized by a fierce hope so astonishingly strong that she cannot deny it any longer.

She wants to be saved by Kagome.

More importantly, she wants Kagome to survive saving her.

Her reiki rises from the most hidden well of her soul and grasps for Kagome’s. They both jolt the moment their reiki intertwine, like thousands of tendrils knotting together. It feels like nothing Kikyo ever knew could exist.

It is like regaining a phantom limb Kikyo never knew was lost.

No time to dwell on this revelation. Kikyo and Kagome are in sync, knowing what to do via some ancient, primal language humans no longer speak aloud. They focus their reiki on the crack in Kikyo’s chest.

Their combined power blasts out the last vestiges of the poison, incinerating every drop from the pond. The water is pristine, sparkling in its rebirth.

Kikyo, in awe, releases Kagome’s sleeve and reaches up to cup her cheek. She thinks she might burst at the seams with radiance. Kagome’s long lashes flutter shut, appearing deceptively like she is leaning into Kikyo’s palm.

Then, however, Kagome’s grip slackens and she floats limply, unconscious. This vision forebodes an ending to the story of Kagome's life where she perishes in this cold, dark, empty place; and it is unacceptable. Kikyo’s palm on Kagome’s cheek becomes a grip around her head, holding it upright. With her other arm, Kikyo pulls Kagome around the waist. She kicks them upward toward the sun.

They break the surface. Kikyo holds Kagome’s head aloft, and sputters her name. Kagome’s eyes do not open and she does not stir. Kikyo commands her limbs to work despite their weariness, resolutely defiant against the deities that would let Kagome’s life end so horribly. When she is close enough to shore to stand, Kikyo plants her feet in the mud and hauls Kagome’s limp form onto dry ground and presses an ear to Kagome’s slightly agape mouth.

She is not breathing.

Kikyo heaves Kagome up and hammers her fists against Kagome’s back. Kagome’s chin rests on Kikyo’s shoulder, her torso cradled in Kikyo’s hold. Kikyo musters all the strength she can to pound her fist against Kagome’s back.

_Thump_.

What should have been a hollow sound in Kagome’s chest is horribly distorted by water.

_Thump_.

Kagome does not wake up, but a gurgle crawls up her throat.

_Thump_.

The water-logged gurgle in Kagome’s throat gains purchase, and her limbs twitch encouragingly.

Kikyo pulls back just in time for Kagome’s eyes to fly open in wild panic. Kagome reflexively clutches Kikyo close as she leans over her arm to vomit pond water. Kikyo pats Kagome’s back soothingly as Kagome’s body quivers from the effort. Kagome’s body trembles and will certainly collapse into the mud if released, which is why Kikyo tells herself she is holding on so tightly.

After several trembling breaths, Kagome slumps against Kikyo’s chest. Kagome looks up with bleary eyes. Her obsidian hair clings to her red chapped cheeks, and she is _breathing_. Kagome’s eyes shine bright; disoriented, but brimming with life.

“You saved me.” Kagome pants hoarsely, but full of wonderment.

A litany of possible responses run through Kikyo’s mind.

_Yes, I suppose I did._

_You saved me as well_.

_What were you thinking?!_

_You’re so warm_.

Instead, Kikyo brushes Kagome’s wet bangs off her forehead.

Kagome sits up fully, maintaining their closeness. “You saved me!” She repeats with significant emphasis. Her gaze shifts to Kikyo’s open hakama and her exposed wound. Kikyo follows her gaze.

The wound is jagged, hard, and bloodless. It will heal, but for now it appears like carved stone.

The reminder of the insurmountable distance between her and every other living creature feels like dying all over again. Under Kagome’s gaze, Kikyo cannot escape her own mortification. Kikyo's inhumanity, the abomination of her existence, on display for Kagome (who thrums with life so strongly she practically bursts at the seams with it) to plainly see, is too much for Kikyo to handle.

She closes her hakama hastily.

“Kagome!” A distant female voice shouts from beyond the trees. Kagome staggers to her feet and stumbles a step toward it.

“Sango! We’re over here!” She calls into the forest. Kagome turns back to Kikyo and grips her by the arms to help her stand from the mud. Kagome steadies Kikyo before stepping away. “Hold on, I’ll be right back. Sango will be able to take us back to camp.” Kagome calls out again and runs to the treeline.

Living death is easy when vengeance is your only goal. Rage and hatred are constant, uncomplicated companions. They are the _only_ companions.

Desiring more is infinitely more excruciating, Kikyo realizes.

Still, Kagome’s warmth echoes in her chest, leaving a fresh flame of a different species in its wake.

She watches Kagome get farther away, then slinks back into the shadowy woods.

With each step, the yearning glows brighter; a strange, new fire to keep her warm at night.

* * *

  
Kagome stumbled up to Sango eagerly.

“Sango, you won’t believe it!” She started with an astonished smile. “She, I mean we, were—”

“Kagome, you’re soaked! Are you okay? Sango asked, startled at Kagome’s haggard appearance.

“I’m fine.” Kagome brushed off Sango’s worried hands and grabbed her by the wrist to drag her back to the shoreline. “We—”

Kagome turned and found the clearing totally empty. She scoured the whole area, searching for a sign of Kikyo, but found none.

Kikyo was gone. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Sango asked more cautiously when Kagome stopped talking.

Kagome heaved an oppressed sigh.

“I’m just cold.”

Sango led a quiet, troubled Kagome back to where their group had set up camp for the night. Sango asked if Kagome encountered a youkai in the pond, but Kagome only said she had fallen in. This didn't explain her sullen, far away gaze nor the way she hugged herself like it weas the only way to keep her chest in one piece.

“Sango! Kagome!” Miroku called as they approached. He rested his hand against his chest theatrically, “Sango, my sweet, you two were gone so long I was beginning to worry.”

He paused and took note of Kagome’s soaked clothes.

Shippo looked up from the fire, “Did you go for a swim, Kagome?”

“Sort of.” She answered, praying the joking tone wouldn’t lead to any more questions. After changing into her dry pajamas, she took a seat by the fire. 

She sat down next to Sango as Shippo handed her dinner. She glanced around. “Where’s Inuyasha?”

Miroku did not meet her eyes. “I'm not sure, but you know him. He's probably just out and about.”

Kagome knew what that meant with Kikyo so nearby.

Is that why she had left without so much as a goodbye?

She felt the stirring of dejection that, from a distance, appeared like those same old resentments she was used to. But the beast that hung in her throat clawed differently, in an unrecognizable way; which troubled her more than the feeling itself.

Of course she had known Inuyasha would seek out Kikyo. Their dance was worn-out and predictable. She knew all her steps and her proper role in this monotonous ballet. Although she was exhausted with the routine, she knew that Inuyasha and Kikyo’s parts would not change. It ultimately wasn’t her dance, really. Even knowing all of that, however, Kagome sensed a change on the horizon the way dogs sense an earthquake before it happens. Like some cosmic choreographer were rewriting her steps from behind the curtain.

She set her dinner down and looked up with a paper smile. Sango, Miroku, and Shippo kindly ignored her sadness, playing their respective roles flawlessly. They did not suspect the tectonic shift under her feet.

“I’m going to sleep. Have a good night, guys.” Kagome crawled into her sleeping bag, exertion from the pond pushing her into a blissfully rock-hard slumber.

Shortly after, Inuyasha rejoined them in the circle of firelight. Miroku pretended to occupy himself and Shippo turned his back him.

Sango was ready to give him a scolding glare, but something about his demeanor was off. Inuyasha slinked in like a dog with his tail between his legs. His brows hung heavy over stormy eyes, his mouth in a grim line. Confusion and dejection rolled off him in waves, his shoulders so tightly wound he seemed to Sango startling fragile. She tore her eyes away, feeling like even looking was an intrusion. She almost felt bad for him.

She could only guess that whatever Kikyo had said left him looking for all the world like a man stood up at the altar.

Act II. _Redemption_

After a particularly nasty face-off with Kagura, Kagome awoke before dawn each morning to train. No matter the weather, anyone looking for Kagome could find her in a field littered with arrows, teeming with volatility.

Which is how Miroku found her dripping with sweat in the same field near the village, notching another arrow and taking aim at a target. Miroku’s breath curled up in frost as he exhaled.

“Are you making much progress?”

Kagome huffed noisily. Despite the cold, Kagome wore a high ponytail, loose hair sticking to the back of her neck. Her coat laid discarded to the side, and the sleeves on her shirt were rolled up to the elbow. Her red cheeks and nose chaffed against the frigid wind.

“Definitely better than yesterday. Needs work though.” She grumbled.

“The work is never truly done. So, a break is healthy when one has been working as hard as you have.” Miroku replied sagely.

Kagome's lip curled up wryly. “I don’t see Sango or Inuyasha taking that advice.”

“Perhaps they would be better fighters if they did.” Miroku chuckled, then glanced around warily. “Don’t tell Sango I said that.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Kagome let loose the arrow, just barely missing the bullseye.

“You won’t tell her?”

“No. I mean don’t worry about it, because you can't stop me from telling her.” Kagome leaned down to take a gulp of water from her canteen.

“I reap what I sow, I suppose.” He sighed faux-mournfully, which elicited a genuine chuckle from her.

Miroku could be an easy confidant, Kagome found. He took things with levity and was a pretty good listener—when he wasn’t being an ass.

Kagome set her canteen back on the ground and put her hands on her hips. “What can I do for you, Miroku?”

“A great many things.” His brow wagged suggestively.

She picked her weapon back up. “Ha. Thanks for stopping by.” 

He let out a short laugh before before leading into his real question. “I was only wondering if this, er, _extensive_ training has anything to do with our last run in with Kagura of the Wind.”

Kagome’s fatigued shoulders buckled. “She only got away because I missed that last shot.”

Miroku’s brow crumpled sympathetically. “Any one of us could have taken her down, and yet we didn’t. It was no one’s fault.” His frown deepened. “Are you sure that’s all?”

“Yep.” It came out too defensively to be believed.

Miroku heaved an enormous sigh before treading on treacherous ground.

“Lady Kagome, you are a formidable miko in your own right... comparisons to Lady Kikyo are of little consequence to someone of your spiritual power.”

Kagome loosed another arrow, hitting the target dead on.

It was true. In the course of battle, Kagura had thrown a barb about Kikyo that had landed like a perfectly tossed grenade. It exploded in the middle of their group and scattered them to pieces. The comment had been something about how Kagome was a sad replication of the legend, as Kagura herself had seen recently in a violent encounter with Kikyo. She didn't explain how this exchange of blows ended.

Inuyasha had gone ballistic, demanding to know if Kikyo was okay and where she was, etc.

They had no way of knowing if Kagura’s story was even true. It hardly mattered, for the damage was already done. The mocking provoked Inuyasha to recklessness, and exploited Kagome’s insecurities, costing them the win. Kagura made off with the jewel shard from the recently slain youkai.

“I know that.”

Their friends had drawn the seemingly obvious conclusion: that Kagome’s jealousy of Kikyo had debilitated her in battle.

But it wasn’t petty grudge, or an identity crisis, that had thrown Kagome off her game.

She had been terrified.

Kagura’s taunting had been meant for Inuyasha, but Kagome suffered the blow just as deeply. Concern for Kikyo’s safety had clouded her judgement, made her careless. Inuyasha gave voice to these anxieties—Was Kikyo okay? Where was she now?—but Kagome felt them as strongly as he did. Nobody noticed her concern though, chalking it up to jealousy. She was grateful for the lack of scrutiny, yet it also vexed her; it made her feel invisible (which she also didn't understand! What exactly did she _want_ others to see?).

In the few days since the fight, Inuyasha had scouted diligently for the telltale white glow of Kikyo’s shinidamachu. Meanwhile, Kagome had done the same in secret. This was most easily accomplished by training in the wide open field.

So far, she hadn’t seen any sign of Kikyo’s shinidamachu. Which could mean anything or nothing.

The thought of Kikyo running into Naraku’s ilk drowned Kagome in memories of rancid miasma, and spiritual power trapped under its crushing weight; the source of that spiritual power slowly, _agonizingly_ , suffocating. The memory of Kikyo’s listless body enveloped by the murky pond haunted Kagome no matter how many hours she trained as a distraction. The certainty that Kikyo had been hurdling towards her permanent death had been inescapable as Kagome stared down at her in the water. Kikyo’s reiki had clearly been fighting Naraku’s poison for an excruciatingly long time—and she was losing.

It had been as clear to Kagome as if it were written in stone. Kikyo would die by Naraku’s hand. Again.

The thought that Naraku could kill Kikyo again, after everything he had done to her, triggered a deep-seated rage in Kagome. It was so profoundly unjust. Kagome couldn’t stand by and just let it happen. That's why Kagome had dived into that pond despite the sting of miasma and burning in her lungs.

She did this fully knowing Kikyo was too prideful to ever ask for anyone’s help, and would probably rather perish than ask for _Kagome’s_ help. Going by their history, Kagome hadn’t expected a thank you or even a kind nod if she succeeded.

She certainly hadn’t expected for Kikyo to willingly join their power; or the way their combined reiki would _feel_.

She really hadn’t guessed that Kikyo would save her life too. Proving that, on some previously unseen level, Kikyo cared about her.

Despite all of that, the yawning chasm separating them remained.

She and Kikyo had been diametrically opposed in every way since Kikyo’s resurrection. Kagome had spent a significant amount of time trying to escape the quicksand that was Kikyo’s legendary status. Then living in her shadow as a miko, and as a woman, after she was brought back to life had only widened the ocean between then. This had defined their interactions from day one and so the space between them hadn’t bothered Kagome much before.

And yet.

The distance now tormented her.

Doing nothing drove her crazy. Picking herbs was a poor distraction. Studying was a joke. Training with her weapon made her feel a little less like an animal pacing its cage. The work at least tired her enough to sleep. Otherwise, the anxiety threatened to keep her awake and staring at the treetops hoping to catch a glimpse of white.

Miroku looked on her with pity. Kagome didn’t love being pitied, but she would accept it for now. Enlightening Miroku to the actual driving force of her restlessness would open too many strange doors. Doors which would lead to questions she was in no position to answer yet.

“Sango needs more wax for her Hiraikotsu in the next village over, so she and Inuyasha will be leaving shortly. It should only take a day or two.” Miroku said.

Kagome let out a sigh of relief. Tensions had been high ever since the battle, and some space could do everyone some good.

“Sounds good. Wish them well for me.”

This seemed to be what Miroku had expected. He simply nodded and gave her a tight-lipped smile. “Be careful not to catch ill. It looks like it may snow.”

Kagome gave him a thumbs up as he turned back toward the village.

She lost track of time and releasing her frustrations through her arrows.

After a while, a snow drift started as Miroku had predicted. The snow wasn’t even sticking to the grass yet, so she didn’t worry about catching a cold.

She groaned when a sloppily aimed arrow missed the target entirely, hitting a nearby tree. She kicked her canteen of water in irritation, sending it sailing.

“Your stance is off.” Came a voice from behind Kagome, seemingly out of nowhere.

“Shit!” Kagome startled. She felt the brushing of familiar reiki before she fully turned around.

Kikyo stood at the edge of the clearing, ethereal and statuesque with white flurries in her bangs. Despite Kikyo’s typical stoic expression, Kagome could sense what she thought might be a hint of humor.

“Kikyo.” Her name left Kagome’s lips on frosted breath. Relief split open her chest like a baby bird emerging from an egg, and before she knew it, she was closing the distance between them and throwing her arms around Kikyo like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Kikyo let out an involuntary sound of shock but did not retreat. It was only then Kagome noticed that Kikyo was as still as stone in her embrace, and occurred to her that they had never had such casual contact. Kagome pulled back and released her gingerly. 

Kikyo’s eyes were blown wide with bewilderment, limbs frozen in place. Only her eyes moved while Kagome scanned Kikyo for injury.

Kagome cleared her throat, awkwardness warring with relief. “How do you feel? Any lasting effects from the miasma?” Kagome blurted out, hoping to chip Kikyo out of the ice block she now appeared trapped in. She wrung her hands together tightly, eyes taking in every in of Kikyo, still alive.

Kikyo thawed slightly, and responded simply, “I am healed. You purged all poison from my body. Have you?”

“Have I…?”

“Have you suffered any effects of the miasma?” Kikyo asked again.

“Oh! Nope. All good over here.” Kagome chittered anxiously.

“If that is so,” Kikyo started, hesitantly eyeing Kagome. “What ails you?”

Did she look as wired as she felt?

The words burst from Kagome’s mouth, jumbled together like a 6-car pile-up.

“I thought—we didn’t—Kagura said you two fought, but she wouldn’t say what happened or if you were okay, or if Naraku had taken you, then I was looking for your soul collectors and trying to reach out with my reiki but I couldn’t find you so I’m just I—I’m so happy that you’re okay. _Are_ you okay? Did you get hurt? You look great. I mean uninjured. Did you battle Kagura at all or does everything I’m saying sound like Greek to you?”

Kikyo’s mouth stayed flat, but her eyes sparkled with amusement.

“Yes, I am well. No, I did not get hurt. I did have a run in with Kagura of the Wind. I do not understand the last part of your question, but I assume from context that I may not need to.”

“How did you sneak up on me? I didn’t even hear you or see your—” As she said this, she spotted Kikyo’s shinidamachu floating above, blending in with the snowfall. Kagome let out a snort. “Ok well, that’s one mystery solved. How long have you been standing there?”

Kikyo’s expression didn’t change, but something behind her eyes shifted.

“I have been standing here for long enough.” Kikyo answered vaguely, eyes roaming to Kagome’s arrows embedded in the targets on the opposite end of the clearing.

“How did I not sense your reiki? I’m sorry, uh, if that’s not cool.” Kikyo’s lifted a perplexed brow, so Kagome clarified, “If that’s not something you’re okay with. I’ve been able to sense your reiki, ever since they merged…you know. At the pond. Is that weird?”

Kagome didn’t add how her reiki had reached out for hers, even now. She didn’t want to make Kikyo uncomfortable by reminding her that her soul was part of hers.

However, if she thought Kikyo would want to hear it, Kagome would have said that it didn’t feel like either of their reiki were trying to reclaim the other. Absent was the urge to consume and dominate. Instead, it felt like binary stars that had spent eons orbiting each other around a single point in space finally coming together in an explosion of raw power.

Even now Kagome sensed the push and pull of their reiki. Her own seemed to pine at the edge of her reach.

Kikyo’s small smile in return felt like it could stop time. “No, it is not weird.” She looked down for a moment. “I concealed my reiki.”

“Why? Is there danger?” Kagome scanned the clearing.

“…No.” The way Kikyo hesitated on the single word snapped Kagome’s attention back to her. Kikyo shifted slightly, exposing her side profile. “Only parties I did not wish to encounter.”

Oh.

_Oh_.

Interesting.

Kagome glanced back in the direction of the village, positive Inuyasha would come smashing through the trees at any moment. But all was quiet in the field, and they were still alone.

If Kikyo wasn’t here to see Inuyasha, then…

Was she really here just to see Kagome?

Confusion and wonder left her feeling untethered. Kikyo had left so abruptly after their last encounter; she had no idea what would send Kikyo off or when she’d see her again. Somehow, the culmination of all these emotions too big for one person's chest came out as:

“Are you cold?” She asked, unable to look away from the snowflakes collecting on her shoulders.

“...Not in the way you think of it.” Kikyo frowned. Her eyes roamed over Kagome’s torso. “You do not look nearly well-dressed enough for this weather.”

Kagome cringed, imagining how she must look with her shirt plastered to her skin with sweat and hair in a wild disarray. She must have looked a disaster, because Kikyo couldn’t seem to look away.

“I’ve been practicing.” Kagome explained self-consciously.

Kikyo raised a less than impressed eyebrow at the results of Kagome’s work. “Incorrect practice will not help you improve.”

Kagome snorted, a bit disenchanted.

“Some of us have only been doing this for a couple of years, we can’t all be prodigies.” Defensiveness colored her tone.

Kikyo stared back blankly. “You are competent.” The sarcasm must have gone over her head.

“Yeah, okay.” Kagome grumbled flippantly.

Kikyo responded without hesitation. “Your dedication to honing your skills has yielded decent progress for a novice. You lack training in proper technique, which leads to these sloppier hits. A miko with formal training would know better.”

Kagome balked. “I don’t really know how to take that as anything other than an insult.”

Kagome had done quite well with her weapon, thank you very much. A slithering thought lingered at the back of her tongue; that she only seemed deficient in such _illustrious_ company as Kikyo’s.

“It is a compliment.” Kikyo said as if it should be obvious.

“It didn’t sound like one.” Kagome was surprised at how quickly her anger boiled over. “I’m a great archer and miko. I’m not perfect but I’m… damn it, I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished.”

“I see I have intruded. I will not trouble you any longer.” Kikyo replied, clipped. She turned back toward the trees.

“Wait, that’s _it_?” Kagome exclaimed indignantly at Kikyo’s back. “Is that how you treat people? Why not just admit you hurt me and say you’re sorry?”

Kikyo stopped and half turned to Kagome. Something tumultuous billowed behind Kikyo’s eyes.

“What does it matter?” Kikyo asked flatly.

“It matters to me! Your actions affect other people, Kikyo.” Kagome shook her head in disbelief. “Does that matter to you at all?”

Kikyo jerked her face away, her lips downturned severely. But she didn’t walk away.

Kagome continued, “I know you’re… _particular_ about the company you keep, so you might not have had to consider most people's feelings. But I...” She cocked her chin upward, holding her head high. “I think...I’ve earned more than that. I deserve better than that.”

Kikyo’s lip flattened even more, and it looked like there were a thousand different possible responses close to passing her lips.

“My apology would mean much to you? Why?” Kikyo asked cagily.

“Why wouldn’t it?" Kagome's voice rose an octave. "Despite everything that’s gone on between us, we still saved each other. I jumped in that pond after you and you pulled me out. But—” she let out an unhinged chuckle, “This isn’t new for us, is it? Not really. It’s like, no matter what happens, we keep _finding_ each other. Even though it’s kind of weird: you matter to me, Kikyo. And I think I matter to you too. And you don’t just—” Kagome paused and exhaled shakily, gathering her thoughts. She lowered her voice from the high-pitched crescendo it had been careening toward. “You don’t just walk away from someone that matters when things get tough.”

Kagome held herself together tightly. She waited on bated breath for either a lethally lobbed rebuttal or for Kikyo to walk away.

Kikyo’s jaw clenched in tandem with her fists. She turned her back to Kagome, but raised a hand to the bridge of her nose as if she were fighting off a migraine. Kikyo’s eyes flicked back to Kagome, before she straightened her posture, and turned to survey the field.

Snow was just beginning to stick to the ground, coating the scene in a ghostly pale veneer. Kikyo’s gaze was miles away.

“It seems even in death, I cannot avoid making mistakes.” Kikyo whispered so quietly she must have been thinking aloud.

After a moment, Kikyo smoothed her face and turned toward Kagome. Her blank mien reminded Kagome very much of a mannequin. “I apologize for causing you pain. Honesty without tact is cruelty, and…it appears I have been cruel.”

Kagome pondered if she was going to accept that apology, or push for a better one. Kikyo seemed to be having a similar thought. Kikyo’s face slackened and she raised her palm, indicating she was not finished.

“I was cruel. I am truly sorry.” Although Kikyo looked very much out of her depth, she seemed sincere.

Kagome’s already raw cheeks turned deeper red. “I accept your apology.”

“For what it’s worth, the harm I caused was unintentional.” Kikyo said, cautiously navigating unknown territory.

“I know. Thanks.” Kagome replied, softer.

Kagome’s stomach flipped in her gut. Kikyo’s apology was essentially her admitting that Kagome mattered to her. Mattered to Kikyo enough to step out onto the surely uncomfortable ledge of admitting she was wrong.

Kikyo stood in barely concealed discomfort, waiting for some cue on how to proceed.

Kagome took that step for her. “You weren’t totally wrong, though. Some proper technique couldn’t hurt. Would you demonstrate for me?” Kagome finished more brightly. Kikyo seemed to hesitate. “No pressure if you don’t want to, obviously. But I would really enjoy your company.”

A little bit of tension leaked from Kikyo at that, and she nodded. Kagome went to retrieve her canteen to give Kikyo time to ready her bow.

Kagome bent down to retrieve her canteen so she could take a long drag of water while simultaneously hiding her face from Kikyo. Bafflement mixed with tingling heat coiled in her gut. 

“Gah!” The canteen nearly flew out of Kagome’s hand when Kikyo pressed her chest to Kagome’s back. Her icy fingers brushed with the whisper of touch down the lengths of Kagome’s arms, and she placed Kagome’s bow in her hand.

“Ready your bow.” She instructed. Kagome was struck by how Kikyo’s voice sounded when her mouth was inches from her ear.

_Right. Yes. Technique._ Kagome held her bow aloft and notched an arrow in her best form.

Kikyo hummed pensively, pressing her fingers on top of Kagome’s shoulders. “Shoulders down and back. Much better. This should allow you to keep the bow steady with more ease.”

She examined every inch of Kagome’s stance, and adjusted her as needed.

“Now when you’re ready, release your arrow.” Kikyo ordered, taking a step back.

Kagome had to admit that her modified position felt more natural. After a couple of early misfires, she finally landed three arrows right on the bullseye.

Kagome let out a victorious cheer. “I did it!”

“You did it.” Kikyo parroted, her voice gaining a hint of mirth.

“ _We_ did it.” Kagome raised her hand up for a high five, too jazzed up to remember how out of place it was in the 14th century. “Oh, just uh—” Kagome wrapped her hand around Kikyo’s wrist and held her hand up. “Open your hand like this,” Kagome instructed, then high fived Kikyo when she mirrored Kagome’s hand. “That’s what you do in my time when you want to celebrate something with a friend.”

Kikyo’s hand remained frozen mid-air. “Friend?”

“Yeah.” Kagome confirmed with a chuckle. “You’re my friend.”

Kikyo looked out of her depth again. Her eyes softened into something equal parts shocked and vulnerable. Was friendship also new territory for her?

“And you are mine.”

Kikyo’s following smile left Kagome absolutely dazzled. Her reiki reacted too, reaching eagerly for Kikyo’s. She squeezed her fingers more tightly around her bow to control their own longing to reach out. She couldn't think of a sight more enchanting than Kikyo wearing a smile that reached her eyes and showed her dimples.

_Huh_. Recognition echoed through her like ripples in a pond. 

The sound of leaves crunching drew their attention toward the trees. Kagome stiffened at first, but relaxed at the sound of children’s laughter echoing through the forest.

A gaggle of village children burst into the clearing, hooting and screaming in their game. The tallest kid spotted Kagome and Kikyo, and halted the group.

“It’s Lady Kagome!” He shouted. They all ceased at her name, collecting themselves respectfully. He bowed deeply, “Thank you and your friends again for slaying that salamander youkai. My mom said it’s okay to play in the woods again.”

One of the kids spoke to the others in the way that kids do that they think is whispering, but is actually quite loud, “Lady Kagome is training again! We have to play somewhere else.”

Kagome laid her bow on a nearby tree trunk with a chuckle. “Of course! No need to thank me. I’m actually finished training. Let me get my arrows first and we’ll be out of your hair.” She winked and then jogged pluck arrows from their targets.

A younger child skipped up to Kikyo, who must have appeared much more accessible in her time appropriate robes. She scrutinized her closely before turning back to her friends, “Who’s this?”

Fondness set Kikyo’s her face aglow. “I am a friend of Lady Kagome’s.”

Kagome’s fingers thrummed with pleasure at hearing Kikyo call her a friend to someone else.

A boy at the back of the group called to the girl. “Of course she’s Lady Kagome’s friend, she’s a miko too.”

The curious little girl turned back to Kikyo and eyed her robes oddly. “Why do _you_ look like a miko, but Lady Kagome doesn’t?”

“Megumi! That’s rude!” The eldest boy said before bowing again. “My apologies, Lady…”

“Kikyo.” She knelt to the little girl’s level and looked at her very seriously. “Lady Kagome dresses so differently because she is remarkably powerful, as you all have seen.”

Kagome blushed at the din of various ‘wow’s from the group and marveling faces.

“Really?” Megumi wondered.

Kikyo hummed in confirmation. She pitched her voice lower as if she were telling a very important secret. “Indeed. Her dress tells other miko that she is of the most extraordinary breed. Evil-doers cower, for her spiritual power is unmatched.” Kikyo glanced away from Megumi and locked eyes with Kagome. “She’s selfless and wise. Miko such as myself have much to learn from her.”

The children gaped openly at Kagome, who could not look away from Kikyo’s soft expression. The field could have burst into flames and she wouldn’t have noticed.

“Lady Kikyo is too kind.” Kagome replied, depositing the arrows into the quiver. “But she failed to mention that I still have much to learn.”

Megumi crinkled her brow. “Like what?”

Kagome scrambled for an answer and for a chance to process what had just happened.

“How to play your game of course!” Kagome placed her hands on her hips. “Do you think you could teach me?”

The children sprang into action. They pulled Kagome by the wrist to the center of the field and explained their game which, Kagome figured out, was tag. They very patiently taught Kagome the rules, who nodded and put on an air of listening very intently. Once they deemed Kagome well instructed, it was a free for all. One of the boys was ‘it’ first and chased his friends around the field for a few minutes. They seemed to let Kagome get used to the game first before going after her in earnest. After a while of her outrunning them, she allowed herself to be caught.

She cried out in mock-frustration, and all the group screamed, scattering in all directions. Kagome chased after them half-heartedly for a bit. She was pleased to catch Kikyo’s eye every so often.

When Kagome tagged one of the boys, he tugged on her sleeve. He whispered, “Doesn’t Lady Kikyo wish to play?”

“I’m not sure. Why don’t you tag her and see?” She replied mischievously.

The boy nodded back with a similar impish smirk. He ran toward his friend standing near Kikyo, but at the last second, he changed course. He caught Kikyo off guard, tagging her lightly on the arm.

Kagome panted and trotted over to her, meeting Kikyo’s gaze with a waggish smirk. “You know, that means you have to play now.”

Kikyo did not answer at first, rubbing her hands together in pensive deliberation. She approached Kagome and spoke in a diffident tone. “Kagome, I do not think I—”

Kikyo reached out a hand as if to bring Kagome closer for her explanation—but when her hand landed on Kagome’s shoulder, Kikyo yanked it back. Her eyes shone impishly as she gracefully danced backward.

It took Kagome a second to process what had happened. Had Kikyo just tricked her in the name of _fun_?

Kikyo turned to the little boy and mirthfully declared, “Now, it is Lady Kagome’s turn.”

Kagome sputtered for a moment before flushing with warmth. She would have never placed 'Kikyo' and 'playful' in the same category before today. She supposed she had much to learn.

Kagome chased the children across the field and tagged one of them; the kids were then occupied with chasing each other. Kagome stayed at the far edge of the group when they swirled around Kikyo.

They were still a little hesitant to ram fully into Kikyo, whose natural grace commanded respect, but they darted around her in circles.

Kikyo’s doting gaze on the play at her feet made Kagome wish for a camera.

With this joy came with an unexpectedly powerful grief.

The truth was utterly undeniable to Kagome now, heartbreaking in bright technicolor.

Kikyo was not spiteful by nature, but had been warped that way. Kagome thought maybe it even started before her death. Being clipped and groomed to guard the Shikon no Tama unfailingly up until the day she was killed must have taken its toll. Then she was brought back only to find the parts of her soul she had the power to reclaim tainted by rage.

Kagome sensed she was toeing dangerously close to an unimaginably deep well of anguish; one which she was not ready to fully understand. She bookmarked the revelation for a later time. It was simply too tragic, its weight too heavy for this snowy, fun afternoon.

She had always known Kikyo was special. From the moment she got to the feudal era, people fell all over themselves to tell her about how special Lady Kikyo had been. But maybe they didn’t _really_ know. Not like Kagome did now. Because regardless of all that had happened to her—the injustice of her murder, her forced reentry into the world of the living, the vengeance her enemy still sought to inflict—there Kikyo stood, enjoying such a lovely day.

Did anyone who sang Kikyo’s praises as a miko know that by playing with village children, teaching others, and apologizing for her mistakes, she had been fighting to be a better version of herself? Did they see the incredible power behind these seemingly mundane events?

Kikyo was capable of so much more than everyone gave her credit for.

The snowdrift quickly turned wet, and the children shrieked at the change of weather. Where snow had begun to collect, puddles quickly formed and turned to mud. Kagome advised the children to return to the village, and they went clamoring off for dinner.

Kagome donned her coat and turned to Kikyo. She held out her hand, palm up.

“Come on, let’s get someplace dry.”

Kikyo’s hair stuck to her face and neck, and her robes were sopping wet. This made the image of her gaping and closing her mouth again quite funny and fishlike.

“I…” Kikyo started, seeming rooted in place. The fact that a refusal did not immediately rise to her lips gave Kagome hope.

“You’re soaked! There’s no way I’m leaving you out here.” Kagome stepped closer, hand stretching out farther. Kikyo still hesitated. “At least until the rain stops? Doesn’t a cozy fire and dry home sound nice?”

Kikyo’s hand jerked forward at that, before she yanked it back.

“I cannot—I do not want to see…” She struggled with fear-stricken eyes.

It dawned on Kagome. “It won’t be crowded. It’ll just be Miroku and Shippo, I promise. Please, Kikyo? Come with me.”

Thunder clapped just overhead, and Kikyo thrust her hand into Kagome’s.

Kagome gripped it in triumph, soaring high on her win as she tugged Kikyo through the field. Kikyo followed silently but kept up with Kagome’s pace.

Hours later, the rain pounded on overhead well into the evening.

Kikyo and Kagome sat around the fire enjoying the dry heat in their shelter.

Kagome owed Miroku _big_ time. To his credit, he’d only visibly gawked for a moment before arranging his poker face when they arrived. He’d greeted them genially and excused himself to the village leader’s home for an exorcism. He gripped Shippo tightly, his arm covering Shippo’s mouth. Thankfully, shock had rendered the kitsune wide eyed and inert long enough for Miroku to whisk him away from the scene.

After she had led Kikyo inside, Kagome had poked her head out of the door to catch Miroku’s eye before he fled the area. Miroku met her with a strangely steady gaze that said he didn’t need all the details to read between the lines.

They sat in comfortable silence while Kagome ate. Their clothes hung from the ceiling by clothespins, damp but no longer dripping. Kagome wore her pajamas, with only a camisole top, as the fire made the air stifling.

She tried to focus on her food, but couldn’t help stealing glances at Kikyo. Kikyo wore the only other dry outfit Kagome had: her school uniform. Kikyo inspected it curiously with the inquisitiveness of a scientist. Kikyo pinched the fabric of Kagome’s skirt between two fingers, examining it closely.

It made Kagome’s heart ache in that same double edged way from earlier. She looked so _normal_ in Kagome’s uniform, like she could have been just any girl from her school, living a life where fun wasn’t so rare. 

As Kagome watched Kikyo, she was struck with the oddest idea. That maybe the universe understood that Kikyo had been dealt a rotten hand. A hand _so_ rotten that it would upset the balance of nature if it had been left to stand. That Kikyo was always meant to return from the afterlife, to claim the life she deserved.

_Stranger things have happened_ , Kagome thought. She had fallen down a well and ended up fighting youkai with her dog-eared best friend. Who was to say that Kikyo couldn’t get the second chance she deserved?

Kikyo caught her staring.

“What is it?” She asked shyly.

Kagome just shook her head. “You just look like one of my friends.”

“We _are_ friends.”

“Duh. I just meant that you look like someone I could go to school with.” Kagome poked at the food in her bowl. “In my time, all the girls my age wear this uniform, and I’ve only ever seen you in your robes. It’s a different look for you.”

Kikyo tilted her head, awaiting further explanation.

“It just—it suites you. That’s all I meant.”

Kikyo rolled the fabric between her fingers again, this time a soft, woeful smile pulling at her lips.

“Your home sounds strange.” Kikyo said with no malice.

Kagome chuckled, “I guess it is.”

She thought of Christmas Eve and romance. “My city is really gorgeous this time of year. There’s twinkling lights, tinsel, colorful ornaments. Oh, and we give gifts.”

“What kinds of gifts?”

“Any kind, really. It’s mainly about showing someone you care about them by getting them something really special.”

Kikyo hummed thoughtfully.

Kagome found herself wanting to tell Kikyo more about her world. “This time of year is big for romance. Especially on Christmas Eve. Like, you would ideally spend your Christmas Eve with someone you love and exchange gifts.” Kagome had a feeling she wasn’t explaining it to its justice.

Kikyo sighed wistfully. “I would have liked to have seen such a place.”

Kagome leapt up to her knees, suddenly filled with energy. “You can! I can take you with me next time I go home.” She imagined Kikyo meeting her mom, grandpa, and Souta—then meeting her friends, taking her to a holiday market, showing her everything. 

To Kagome’s confusion, Kikyo shook her head. “It is not meant for me.”

“It might take some getting used to, but you’ll adjust.”

Kikyo placed a hand on Kagome’s and replied in a gentle but sure voice. “That life is yours to lead. I would not be so selfish as to feed off of it. My time is borrowed.”

Kagome’s heartbroken expression must have spurned something in Kikyo, because she continued with urgency.

“I have made peace with this, Kagome. I swear. Please do not feel sor—”

“—but that’s bullshit!” Kagome surged forward and clasped Kikyo’s hands in hers. “I am Kagome, and you are Kikyo! I have my own life, and so do you! It’s not selfish to want to enjoy it.”

Kikyo looked as old as she ever had. Her eyes were withered but indulgent, as if she were explaining something to a child. “I am sustained by parts of a stolen soul to which I have no rightful claim. You more than anyone have suffered because of this, you should understand.”

Kagome stood up in a fit of agitation that confounded Kikyo. Kagome paced the floor twice before stopping before her again.

“So what?”

Kikyo’s eyes flared. “ _So what_?”

“You heard me. Who cares about the how? You’re here and I’m here and we both have a soul and a life to live.” Kagome pressed her finger against Kikyo’s chest. “The soul that’s in there is yours, you’ve made it your own.”

Kikyo opened her mouth to protest but Kagome kept going. “Or maybe it’s me who’s using _your_ soul. Or maybe souls can be divided and sown like seeds that grow into separate plants. Or maybe souls are like water and each life is a wave. Or, you know, maybe none of those things. The point is, who cares? The only thing that matters is that you have a life. It has nothing to do with me and what you choose to do with it is up to you.”

Kikyo’s expression was unreadable, but her jaw ticked.

“I am a dead woman walking.”

“So, you died once. Big deal.”

Kikyo reached up with both hands, placing her fingers on Kagome’s forehead. Her brow furrowed as she tilted Kagome’s head to the side and back. She pressed her cool thumbs to Kagome’s cheeks in her examination.

“Uh, what are you doing?” Kagome asked.

Kikyo’s lips were pressed into a serious line. “Checking for signs of fever. You were out in the cold training for quite some time.”

Kagome groaned and gripped Kikyo’s wrists. “I’m _not_ sick.”

“Forgive me if I am skeptical.” Kikyo deadpanned.

Kagome released her wrists and clutched her by the shoulders, suddenly desperate for Kikyo to understand.

“Your actions affect others. You make mistakes and try to fix them. You’re growing. You’re out here just trying to get by, like the rest of us. What’s more alive than that?”

Kikyo twisted her face away from Kagome like she’d been scalded. Her eyes shone in the firelight. She glared into the flames with steely eyes, but the movement in them was molten, fluctuating. Kagome released her shoulders and sat back, resigned to also gaze into the firelight.

While she waited for Kikyo’s response that would never come, she swam in and out of consciousness. Kikyo did not seem angry, only contemplative, and _that_ Kagome could understand. She didn’t know if Kikyo would believe her, but just getting her to entertain the idea was a start.

“Kagome.” Kikyo whispered, lips against her forehead. Kagome realized slowly that she must have dozed off and fallen against Kikyo’s side. Kagome’s head rested on Kikyo’s shoulder, and Kikyo’s arm was laid carefully around her torso. “You should go to sleep.”

“I don’t want to.” She murmured and did not remove her face from the crook of Kikyo’s neck.

“Why not?” Kikyo asked softly, trying not to rouse her into consciousness even further.

“’Cause you’ll be gone when I wake up.” She whined, already feeling the pull of sleep dragging her under again.

Kikyo stilled under her. Kagome felt lithe fingers slowly card through her hair.

Kagome sighed. She’d guessed right.

“Wake me up to say goodbye?” Kagome asked, too tired to feel shame for her needy request.

Kagome waited so long she thought she’d fallen asleep again.

“I will.”

“Promise?” She murmured.

“I promise.”

Kagome fell into a hazy, but comfortable sleep.

Act III. _Reflection_

Kagome munched on a limp french fry with unusual greed. Time in the feudal era made her miss trash fast food _so_ much. Plus, she needed a salty treat after the brutal oral exam she’d just taken.

Yuka, Eri, and Ayumi ranted animatedly about a pop quiz from earlier in the day, and Kagome let her mind drift.

Overcome with a bizarre new curiosity, she analyzed her friends. They made up a piece of her life that fit neatly into the discrete category of the modern era, which did not touch her life in the feudal era at all. But she had once been just like them, and not cleaved between two eras.

Usually, the two discrete categories of her life did not intersect—save for when Inuyasha came barreling into modern Japan. Yet, the image of a fifth phantom friend at the table hovered in her periphery. The memory of Kikyo in the same school uniform haunted the space between Eri and Ayumi. She tried to conjure an image of Kikyo giggling, arguing about tests, and sipping on a milkshake like the rest of the group.

At one point she may have considered Kikyo too obvious a relic to fit in such a setting. But the more Kagome saw of Kikyo, the more tangible she became. Kikyo was just a normal girl like her (give or take several centuries) tossed into extraordinary circumstances.

Fantasizing made her wonder how long it would theoretically take to get Kikyo to try a french fry.

“Kagome!” Eri threw a cold fry at her, breaking her out of her thoughts. She glanced away from the window to find Eri and Yuka leaning intently on the table. “Christmas Eve is coming up. Is that delinquent boyfriend of yours taking you out?”

“ _Boyfriend_?” Kagome balked.

Yuka waved her milkshake around, “Yeah. I mean, assuming that’s still going on.”

Eri visibly cringed. “Oh no. Did you guys break up?”

Ayumi stared at her curiously.

Kagome’s response came much more easily than she’d expected. “I’m not sure we were ever really together.”

“What do you mean?” Ayumi asked quietly.

“I mean… I don’t know, it’s not really like that anymore.” It hadn’t been for a while.

Eri treaded more carefully. “Was he two-timing you?”

Kagome sipped her milkshake thoughtfully. “Is it really two-timing if we weren’t together?”

Yuka tsked. “I’m sorry, Kagome. That really sucks.”

Kagome waved her off. “To be honest, it wasn’t that dramatic. I’m fine.”

“Who did the breaking up?” Eri asked.

She poked at a fry under her fingers, realizing she’d mushed it.

“I don’t know. No one I guess.”

Yuka huffed and crossed her arms, “Well he’s an idiot for being so obsessed with his dumb ex when you were _right there_.”

Kagome winced. “It’s not like that. She didn’t do anything.”

Eri pointed her finger on the tabletop for emphasis, “So she _is_ involved. I bet you’re just being nice. What kind of selfish jerk steals another girl’s boyfriend?”

“ _Please_.” Kagome interjected more sharply than she’d intended. “Don’t talk about her like that.”

Their three quizzical expressions urged Kagome on without needing words.

“We’re sort of…well, she’s my friend. We’re friends now.” Kagome shrugged to try to appear casual. “And she didn’t make us break up so let’s drop it, okay?”

The silence following was chokingly awkward, so Kagome steered them to safer waters, “What about you guys? Do you have any romance planned for Christmas Eve?”

Eri and Yuka sighed about the prospective dates they’d hoped would ask them out with some promising candidates in the running. They discussed strategy with the gravity of war generals discussing battle plans.

Maybe the feudal era wasn’t that different from the modern era after all.

The next school day, Kagome and Ayumi walked together to gym. Ayumi’s calm nature made her a very easy person to be around, but today Ayumi radiated especially preoccupied energy.

As they weaved through students toward the locker room, Ayumi turned to Kagome.

“Hey, I know you said it wasn’t a big deal, but I’m sorry about your break-up.”

Kagome wondered what brought up this topic. “Thanks. But, it happens.”

“Forgive me if I’m prying.” Ayumi gripped her books to her chest. “But was it because of someone else?”

Didn’t they talk about this yesterday? 

“Well, he’s always been hung up on his ex, but—”

“—No, I’m sorry, I don’t mean him. I mean you.” Ayumi corrected. “I don’t want to assume anything, but it just sort of seems like there’s something else going on.”

Kagome blinked, feeling caught out. “Oh, uh, no. Not really. What did I do to make you think that?”

Ayumi shook her hair so it obscured her face a little. “When I asked you about Christmas Eve plans, you seemed like... I don’t know, I guess I was wrong. Just ignore me!” Ayumi finished with a jittery wave of her hand.

“It’s okay. I really don’t have plans.” Kagome replied. “How about you? You didn’t say if you had plans.” Kagome threw the question back at her, hoping to deflect attention from her love life.

This time, Ayumi blushed in earnest, and Kagome was worried she’d somehow upset her.

“I would like to, but no. I don’t have plans.”

Kagome politely pushed the topic, “Do you have anyone in mind?”

Kagome mentally sifted through the guys in their class, trying to isolate any that Ayumi may have talked about. To be fair, Kagome hadn’t been around much lately to be very familiar with the guys in their class, so she wasn’t surprised when she couldn’t think of anyone off the top of her head.

“Hi Kagome! Hi Ayumi!” Hina, their classmate, skipped up to them from the opposite direction. The three stopped right before the locker room door.

“Hey there, Hina.” Kagome greeted warmly. She didn’t know the girl well, but they were friendly enough.

“Hi.” Ayumi squeaked out. Kagome did subtle double take at her friend’s beet red cheeks.

Hina tossed her long, glossy ponytail over her shoulder and flashed a stunning smile. She dug in her jacket pocket and pulled out a dainty pen with a butterfly cap.

“Thanks for lending me this, Ayumi.” She handed it over and Ayumi took it stiffly. Hina chuckled and turned to Kagome. “I’m so bad at returning things, and I promised Ayumi I would give this one back for sure this time.”

Ayumi loosened a bit and laughed along, “I wasn’t really expecting this back, so thanks.”

Hina held up two fingers in a scout’s honor salute, “I will no longer steal your things, I swear.” Hina pulled on her ponytail, bringing it back over her shoulder. “I’ll probably keep the hair ties, though.”

They shared a laugh that went on a few seconds longer than Kagome thought was usual. Hina glanced away from Ayumi back to Kagome, and her toothy grin pressed down into a placid, closed-mouth smile.

“It’s good to see you back in school, Kagome. Ayumi.” She nodded at Kagome, then Ayumi, then continued on her way.

Kagome switched back and forth between Hina’s quickly retreating form and Ayumi with rapt attention. She had a million questions, but was straining for one that wouldn’t be too invasive. Was that what she thought it was? 

Ayumi tilted her head toward Kagome and hid under her eyelashes as if she were conveying some secret message. A message that she clearly thought Kagome would understand.

And Kagome found she _did_ understand. Too well as of recently.

“I like Hina. She’s really nice.” Kagome said simply. Her tone was soft, hoping it was confirmatory enough to let Ayumi know the message had been received.

Ayumi’s shoulders relaxed and she tucked her hair behind one ear. She turned fully to Kagome, looking much less jumpy.

“Yeah. Me too.”

Kagome was left with the unshakeable impression that she had just discovered she was fluent in some foreign, sacred language. One that fastidious Ayumi had correctly guessed Kagome spoke.

Act IV. _Reverence_

When Kagome returned to the feudal era, winter had finally arrived for its long stay.

While she relished the sparkling icicles and the glimmer of sunlight on freshly fallen snow, Kagome quickly grew tired of trudging through the icy countryside.

This irritation turned into a full on life-threatening danger in the midst of a battle that ended on a frozen lake.

“Inuyasha, he has a jewel shard in his head!” Kagome shouted as she ran across the ice after the youkai.

Inuyasha wielded Tetsusaiga to attack from across the lake. “Can ya be a little more specific?” He shouted, dodging a blow.

Kagome sprinted closer, slipping on slick ice. The creature opened its wide maw.

“It’s in his mouth!”

Inuyasha smirked, “Keh. That’s all I needed to hear.” He lifted his sword to launch an attack.

Kagome loaded her bow with an arrow. “I got it, Inuyasha!”

Youki swirled around Tetsusaiga, preparing to strike.

“Inuyasha, stop!” Sango shouted from above. “The ice!”

The warning came a second too late as Inuyasha launched the Wind Scar, obliterating the youkai’s head. He cheered as he grabbed the jewel shard that flew from the explosion. The youkai’s body crumpled onto the ice.

An ear-splitting crack sliced the air. Then another, and another, and too many to count.

Kagome only had a brief moment to feel fear.

Weaving cracks formed under her feet just before the ice shattered, and she was plunged into the icy depths.

The subarctic water squeezed the scream out of her lungs and locked her limbs. Her lungs seized, causing her to suck down a mouthful of water that stung like a thousand needles scrapping down her throat.

She did not struggle long before Inuyasha burst into the water and pulled her skyward.

Kagome’s ears rang and her teeth chattered too loudly for her to hear the cacophony of shouts she heard when he pulled her from the ice. She labored to breathe, her frozen lungs too paralyzed to take in air.

“Kagome, you’re okay, I’ve got you.” Inuyasha said as he leapt to shore.

Her bones rattled too hard for her to answer. The blinding pain washed everything white and she succumbed to the cold.

* * *

  
Then, she was too warm. On fire, actually.

Kagome wriggled against the mountain pinning her in the heat. She was impatient to wriggle free, even just an arm, to escape it.

“It’s okay Kagome, please don’t squirm.” Miroku appeared out of thin air at her side. He patted what she realized were blankets swaddled around her.

“Hot. It’s too hot.” Kagome croaked. Why wouldn’t they let her kick off the covers?

“If she’s warm, that means she’s getting better, right?” Shippo asked timidly at Miroku’s side.

Miroku’s expression was grim. He shook his head gravely.

“Shippo, please bring some water. Maybe she’ll drink now.”

_Water_.

At its mention, water was suddenly all Kagome could think about. When the bowl touched her lips, she gulped it down greedily.

Miroku pulled it away much too soon. She tried to protest, but her limbs wouldn’t listen.

“Careful, not too much at once.” He said apologetically. Kagome lulled her head to the side woefully and let out a whine.

Noise from outside drew Kagome’s attention as she gained some lucidity.

“I said I’m sorry!” Inuyasha growled. “It was a mistake! I pulled her out almost as soon as she fell in.”

Sango’s voice railroaded his. “You were stupid and impulsive, and it may cost Kagome her _life_.”

“She’s not gonna die!” Inuyasha replied through what sounded like gritted teeth.

“She’s been babbling for hours, Inuyasha, she’s clearly not that far from it unless we can break this fever.”

They either stopped talking or Kagome fell back asleep.

Fever dreams plagued Kagome’s fitful sleep, only punctuated by one of her friends changing the cool cloth on her forehead or giving her sips of water. Many people flitted in and out of her dreams; Inuyasha, her friends, Souta, Ayumi, even Hina.

Kikyo was a regular visitor in her dreams.

Sometimes she was doting and affectionate, others she was cold and biting. The worst ones, though, were when she walked away and Kagome couldn’t keep up.

Luckily, the heat of the fever razed the memory of these dreams almost as soon as they ended.

In one of her more fantastical dreams, her reiki brushed with Kikyo’s. Their energies tangled fervently, needily: like they were locked in a dance.

This spurred a vision starring Kikyo in elegant ballroom dress; long, sleek, and glittering red like flame. Dream femme-fatale Kikyo led Kagome in some fast-paced dance with high keening violins. They were alone on stage. She didn’t mind this much, save for the scalding hot spotlight boiling her skin. She asked dream Kikyo if Kikyo wasn’t supposed to be dancing with someone else. Had the choreography changed? Dream Kikyo did not answer but continued their dance. Kagome knew all the moves, but forgot her questions.

Her next dream was the strangest yet.

There were voices outside again. Sango’s voice was too low for Kagome to hear the exact words, but her tone sounded stern. Inuyasha replied almost pleadingly in a similarly low volume. This dream frustrated her.

She felt her reiki brushing against something warm and familiar. It bizarrely reminded of scalding spotlight and the tango and—

“Kikyo.” Whispered Kagome. Her head rolled, eyes landing on Miroku’s rigid form. He looked particularly troubled by whatever was going on outside.

Miroku nodded curtly. “Yes. She’s here, apparently.”

Sango stomped inside in a fit of pique, looking absolutely flabbergasted. She seethed quietly to Miroku.

“What is _Kikyo_ doing here and why won’t she leave? I told her to leave but she just keeps standing there. The weird part is that she won’t come closer either. Inuyasha’s chomping at the fucking bit to go over to her, and I’m not sure I can hold him off for much longer. What could she possibly want?”

Miroku glanced down at Kagome again with some complex expression. Kagome couldn’t tell what it meant, but it sort of looked like a Dalí-painting, which wasn’t helpful.

He rose. “I’ll go speak with Lady Kikyo.”

Sango replaced Miroku at Kagome’s side. Once she saw Kagome was awake, she reached for the water bowl.

Kagome pushed the bowl away. “Kikyo’s really here?”

Sango groaned and petted Kagome’s sweat drenched hair. “Unfortunately yes, but don’t worry about it. Hopefully Miroku will be able to send her on her way. If Inuyasha tries to abandon you _now_ when it’s his own stupid fault you got sick, I swear I’ll—”

Kagome reached her reiki out in a desperate attempt to confirm it was real, and not just another feverish illusion. She scoured the area her reiki could reach frantically, only satisfied when she felt the telltale sign of Kikyo's reiki brushing hers. Kikyo’s responded, strongly. She _was_ nearby.

With herculean effort, Kagome thrust herself into a sitting position and kicked her blankets off. Paying no mind that the room was spinning, Kagome forced herself to her feet.

“What are you doing?” Sango braced Kagome’s side.

Kagome stumbled with a surprising amount of strength to the door.

“No Kagome, please go lie back down—” Sango pleaded.

Kagome thrust herself into the snowy nighttime air. She braced herself against the doorframe to keep from falling. She locked eyes with Inuyasha leaning against the wall just outside, who jittered with agitated energy. His eyes widened guiltily when he looked away from something in the distance to meet Kagome’s hazy gaze. He reached out as if to steady her, but Kagome turned to face the direction he had been looking.

She stumbled forward into the snow; his presence forgotten instantly.

Yards away, Miroku and Kikyo were locked in what looked like an intense back and forth.

Miroku’s demeanor reminded Kagome of a doctor on one of those hospital TV shows her mom watched all the time. Kikyo was playing off him very well, acting every bit like the fretful girlfriend frantically asking why her partner was in the ICU. What talented friends she had.

Kikyo’s eyes flicked over and locked on Kagome’s.

“Kikyo!” Kagome greeted hoarsely.

“Kagome.” Kikyo said, relieved at first but growing more alarmed the longer she took in Kagome's state.

Kikyo pushed past Miroku, who did not move to stop her, and advanced toward Kagome with laser focus.

Sango was still there somehow, and moved to stand between them. “You’ve got some nerve—”

Miroku miraculously appeared too and quelled her with some words Kagome didn't listen to, moving Sango out of the way.

“You’re really here.” Kagome rejoiced.

Kagome was so happy to see Kikyo for real, that she took an ill-advised step forward and fell onto Kikyo. Kikyo caught her with steel arms.

“We’ve got to stop meeting like this.” Kagome chuckled at her private joke.

Kikyo examined her flushed face and glossy eyes with mounting dismay. “How long has she been like this?”

Miroku replied, “Several hours. We’re trying to break her fever but, well—”

“You guys should be on TV. Kikyo, can you tango too?” Kagome inquired while playing with a loose strand of Kikyo’s hair.

Kagome was so intent on her question she didn’t even notice her feet were numb until she collapsed.

Kikyo did not let her fall, though. In fact, Kikyo swept her up in an unexpected bridal hold. Kikyo’s chest rumbled angrily at Sango and Miroku.

“Move.”

They cleared the way without another word.

Kagome didn’t tear her gaze from Kikyo’s as she carried her into the hut. Kikyo kept her eyes rigidly forward. Kagome was so preoccupied that she didn’t even notice Kikyo pass Inuyasha without so much as a glance.

As Kikyo set Kagome down on the crumpled bedding, Kagome jammed her frozen feet into the blankets.

“I’m so cold.” She muttered, bewildered by this development.

“I know. You went outside barefoot. We’re not going to do that anymore.” Kikyo’s answer was wry but threaded tightly with unease.

Kikyo got Kagome horizontal and covered her with blankets. Kagome soon got too warm again, but her limbs were too heavy with exhaustion from her outburst to do anything about it.

Her friends filtered in slowly as Kikyo tended to Kagome. Once Kikyo seemed satisfied, she rose, which roused Kagome from her shallow slumber.

“Where are you going?” Kagome asked in a panic.

“To get herbs for your medicine.” Kikyo answered, donning her straw cover.

“No! Don’t go.” Kagome begged.

Kikyo’s eyes softened. “I must. I will return and then you will feel better.”

Kagome’s lip wobbled and her eyes watered. “Please? I don’t want you to leave.”

Kagome didn’t notice the exchange of absolutely baffled expressions between the other members of their group.

“Uh, Kikyo? She's getting pretty worked up. Maybe it’s best if you stay here and we go collect the herbs?” Sango suggested meekly.

Kikyo bowed under Kagome’s feverish tears. She addressed the others, “Can you identify these plants?” Kikyo then listed off a long list of herbs. Miroku and Sango nodded at each one. “Good. Now listen carefully.” Kikyo listed how much she needed of each ingredient and indicated where they may be able to find them close by.

The group split the tasks among themselves and each left with a task. Inuyasha lingered with an unsure gait, but finally left when Kikyo turned her back on him to return to Kagome’s side.

Kagome fawned over Kikyo through the haze of sickness. “You’re so pretty you could be on a Christmas card.”

“Will you sleep now?” Kikyo asked, stern but a tiny bit amused.

Kagome brought the blanket up to her chin. “Yep. Thank you for staying.”

She fell quickly into a dreamless sleep.

In what felt like no time at all, Kagome rose to consciousness to find Kikyo mixing herbs and depositing them in the pot over the fire. Daylight shone through the window.

At some point later, Sango helped Kagome change into a fresh set of clothes, bundling her sweat soaked clothes and bedding for laundering. The task took longer than it should have, as Kagome barely clung to consciousness. The pounding in her head and the aching in her joints made the task of dressing her equivalent to dressing a rag doll.

Once Sango tucked Kagome into fresh blankets, she patted her head. “You can go back to sleep now.”

Kagome buried her face in her fresh pillow and garbled a “Thank you.”

She watched Sango gather the laundry and make for the door, but stop before exiting. She then turned to Kikyo, who tended to the pot.

“How is she doing?” Sango asked.

Kikyo didn’t look away from the pot as she sprinkled in ingredients. “Her fever has not broken, but trust that I am doing everything in my power to help.”

“I know that.” Sango chewed on her next thought before voicing it. “I’m sorry for all those things I said yesterday. You have been incredibly generous, and we are in your debt.”

“Thank you. But you owe me nothing.”

Sango almost made it through the door before spinning back around without warning.

“I may not understand what’s going on with you… _all_.” Sango cringed. Kikyo’s shoulders tensed. “–but I don’t have to. I’m glad you’re here, because I care about Kagome very much.”

Kikyo finally looked up.

“As I do her. Truly.” Kikyo replied matter-of-factly.

Sango’s eyes widened. “ _Oh_. Um. Good.” She then evacuated the hut.

Kagome pondered over the conversation, but dissecting it felt like trying to cut meat with a spoon. She only hoped she would remember it later as she slipped back into a fever dream.

When Kikyo awoke her again, daylight was dimming.

Kikyo fit her arm under Kagome’s torso and lifted her up, steadying her with a shoulder. Kikyo lifted a bowl of pink liquid to her lips.

“Drink in small sips.” Kikyo instructed.

Kagome obeyed, but the first sip made her shudder and swallowing was a struggle.

“As many sips as you can manage.” 

“It’s not very nice of you.” Kagome grumbled, taking another sip from the bowl.

“Trying to heal you?” Kikyo asked airily, as if she had been talking through Kagome’s delusional circles for days.

“To poison me after all we went through at the pond with the miasma. Remember that?” Kagome teased before taking another sip. The medicine was starting to warm in her belly pleasantly.

“Take your medicine, Kagome.”

Kagome took two more sips, feeling the pounding in her head quiet down just a little. She fell back asleep hard.

This went on an incalculable number of times: Kikyo woke up Kagome, gave her medicine, she went back to sleep for 2 seconds only for Kikyo to wake her up again and give her more medicine. Kagome stopped crinkling her nose at the medicine, because it made her feel less like she’d been hit by a bus.

Each time, Kikyo was the one to give her medicine or water. Sango and Miroku filtered in and out occasionally, but it was always Kikyo at her side when she awoke. 

Finally, Kagome awakened cool and clearheaded.

She groaned and tried to kick her blankets off. This brought Kikyo over to her side from across the room.

“Kikyo.” Kagome sighed, pleasantly surprised Kikyo hadn't been a figment of her fever riddled imagination. “You stayed.”

Hope blossomed on Kikyo’s face as she felt Kagome’s forehead. “You’re much cooler. How do you feel?”

“Like I got chewed up and spit out. But better.”

Kikyo’s lip curled up just a bit. “That’s good.” When Miroku and Sango stepped inside the hut, she announced with a wide smile, “Kagome’s fever has broken.”

For some reason, they both looked stunned; not at Kagome, but at Kikyo. Kagome realized it was probably the first time they’d seen her smile.

“I’ll go tell the others the good news.” Miroku said on his way out the door.

Kagome shifted stiffly. “I wish I could get up and stretch my legs.”

Sango turned to Kikyo, “What do you think, Kikyo? Would she be okay for a quick walk outside if she’s dressed warmly?”

“It should do her some good, as long as she does not strain herself.” Kikyo replied as if conversing with Sango was the most normal thing in the world.

_Looks like Kikyo’s surprising everyone today._ Kagome mused fondly.

When Kagome tried to stand, Sango braced her side and Kikyo stepped up to brace her other side. They pulled clothes out of Kagome’s backpack, trying to decide which would be warmest. Kagome would have interjected that she could pick her own clothes if the casual way Kikyo and Sango debated hadn’t stupified her into silence.

She had certainly missed a lot.

Sango led Kagome out of the hut while Kikyo stayed to prepare Kagome’s newest batch of medicine. Her legs shook as they trudged through the snow, but Kagome was determined to get the blood flowing again. Sango and Kagome slowly made their way up a nearby hill.

Kagome noticed Inuyasha was nowhere in sight.

“Where has Inuyasha been in…all this?”

Sango answered dodgedly. “He’s been around.”

“Around?”

“He spent a lot of time on the other side of the mountain collecting some herbs for your medicine.”

“Oh." Kagome paused, connecting some dots. "Kikyo was with me the whole time, right? I’m just surprised he wasn’t hanging around her more.”

Sango’s mouth curled strangely on one side. “I don’t want to push you yet, but you have got to fill me in soon on what the flying fuck is going on with you two.”

“There’s not much to say about me and Inuyasha.” Kagome stretched her arms high above her head and popped her back.

“I’m not talking about you and Inuyasha, I’m talking about you and Kikyo.” Sango responded fervently. “When I mentioned her name you got so excited to see her you tripped your hypothermic, fever-crazed ass out into the snow. When she saw how sick you were, she instantly took over and starting barking orders at us. To be fair, she did a great job.”

“Huh.” Kagome breathed, turning back toward the hut in their slow march. 

Sango spotted something over the hill, “Oh, that’s the villagers bringing some food. You stay here, I’ll be right back.” She leaned Kagome against the outside of the hut and ran to go meet some approaching silhouettes.

Kagome did some stretches to work out her aching muscles when voices drifted from inside the hut.

Kagome only heard the last part of Inuyasha’s sentence. “…just talk?”

Civil would be the kindest way to describe Kikyo’s tone, “There is nothing more to discuss.”

Inuyasha’s voice pitched lower. “I don’t get it.”

Kikyo’s sigh sounded weary. “I have made myself clear. If you are dedicated to misunderstanding, that is not my problem.”

There was a long pause. Kagome really wanted to walk away, but she was afraid she’d fall if she tried to walk on her weak legs.

“I guess I never really understood you, huh?” Inuyasha muttered.

Kagome didn’t hear any more talking. She only heard the door opening and retreating footsteps in the snow.

Kagome’s heart thundered with something very dangerously close to hope.

Over the next few days, Kagome got better. Yet each day brought dread that plagued Kagome; that Kikyo would at last deem her fit, and leave.

To Kagome's delight, each day came and went, but Kikyo stayed.

She stayed even as Kagome started moving about on her own, monitoring her progress at first, but eventually just... hanging out.

She accompanied Kagome on walks, sat with her friends by the fire, practiced her archery while Kagome napped. There was a significant amount of unspoken tension between Kikyo and Inuyasha, but otherwise she got along courteously with her friends.

It was the weirdest week any of them had experienced so far, but Kagome was on cloud nine.

In the high noon sun, Kagome walked back with Miroku from the nearby village.

“I’m going to ask Kikyo to join our group. Permanently.” Kagome declared resolutely. She had decided to night before, when she fell asleep on Kikyo’s shoulder while Shippo showed Kikyo his drawings.

“Interesting.” Miroku hummed. “It wouldn’t be unprecedented.”

“But do you think it’s a good idea?” She asked, suddenly anxious for his approval.

Miroku shrugged. “It’s a fine idea. It will take some adjustments on Inuyasha’s part, but he can manage.”

Kagome grew defensive. “It’s a ‘fine’ idea? What’s wrong with it? I know we have a complicated history with Kikyo, but didn’t we all start as enemies in some way? She would be great in battle—"

“You’re not wrong at all. I simply don’t think it’s the question you want to ask.” He replied sagaciously.

“What’s the question I want to ask then?” She meant it to come out sarcastically, but her delivery was too fragile.

Miroku smirked and mulled over his response. He glanced down at his palm with the cloth covering his wind tunnel. His smile at Kagome was knowing— _too_ , knowing.

“When destruction looms over you every day, as it does for me, there’s no time to waste. So, you learn to ask the truly important questions—I ask Sango my most important question every day, and every day I get my comeuppance for it." At this he gingerly rubbed his cheek. "The trouble is that destruction looms over everyone always. I just have a constant reminder of _my_ inevitable death to keep me honest.” Miroku held up his palm for emphasis.

They paused at the crest of the hill overlooking the hut. He looked at her thoughtfully. “Ask Kikyo the important question.”

Under Miroku’s keen gaze, Kagome could only nod. “Okay.”

* * *

The perfect opportunity came when Kikyo suggested they go for a walk.

Kikyo led them into the forest silhouetted by a snowy mountain peak. Kagome didn’t ask her where they were going. She was content to just follow and marvel at the countryside.

Stars dazzled in the winter night sky, casting the snow-covered landscape in an otherworldly glow. Kikyo’s hand cooled to the temperature of the snow around them and seemed in high spirits. Kagome felt for a moment like she was following a mischievous winter sprite into the mysterious unknown. The fantastical winter wonderland reminded Kagome that, if her math was right, it should be Christmas Eve (or at least near it).

After a spell of comfortable silence, they crested a peak and came to a sheer cliff face which towered above the trees. There was an entrance to a cave not far ahead.

Kagome finally asked, “Where are you taking me?”

Kikyo did not answer immediately, but Kagome continued to follow. They approached the cave and Kikyo turned to stop Kagome before entering.

“You said this is a special part of the season in your time.” Kikyo started, her speech sounding prepared. “Your world may be very different from this one, but it does not mean you cannot enjoy some of the same pleasures here.”

Kagome’s smiled softly but quirked an eyebrow.

Kikyo outstretched her hand. Without a second thought, Kagome placed her hand in Kikyo’s.

“Close your eyes. I will guide you.” Kikyo vowed.

Kagome closed her eyes. Kikyo wrapped an arm around Kagome’s and led her into the cave. Somehow despite the biting frost outside, it was definitely getting warmer the deeper they delved into the cave.

“Is it…humid in here?” Kagome wondered.

When the sound of their footsteps started echoing, Kikyo stopped her. Kikyo turned Kagome by the shoulders and stepped back.

“You may look now.”

Kagome opened her eyes. At first, she just saw Kikyo, staring at her in anticipation. The sparkling glow above their heads caught Kagome’s attention next.

The cave was bedazzled with luminous naturally formed crystals, casting the two of them in colorful refracted glow. Crystals lined the cave walls up toward a conical ceiling so tall Kagome couldn’t see the top. The bright gems sparkled in pale pinks, shimmering greens, delicate blues, and an array of other colors. They glittered and intertwined as their beams reflected off each other. The whole thing looked like being inside of a Christmas tree.

“Wow.” Kagome exhaled, overwhelmed by the radiance. “This is _beautiful_ , Kikyo.”

“Twinkling lights.” Kikyo offered bashfully.

Kagome looked away from the stunning display at Kikyo, who’s eyes were alight with expectant energy.

“You remembered.” Kagome laughed giddily; dazzled and completely overcome. “These are even better than the ones at home.”

Kikyo smiled shyly and turned to the side. She pointed to a pool of water that dominated the massive room. Steam curled up toward the ceiling.

“The hot spring warms the cave, so you may take off your coat if you like.”

Kagome set down her backpack immediately and threw her coat, hat, and gloves to the ground.

Kikyo tracked Kagome as she investigated the cave further. She couldn’t stop staring up at the array of glowing crystals more beautiful than any string of lights she’d ever seen.

“This is amazing.” She studied a nearby crystal in wonderment. “How did you even find this place?”

Kikyo joined her at her side. “When you have spent as many nights as I have wandering alone, you find extraordinary things.”

“And you thought of me?” Kagome swallowed hard.

Kikyo’s chin ticked up a degree. “You said gift giving was customary. For those who are special to you.”

“It is.” _For romantic partners_. Kikyo looked as striking and unearthly as ever while bathed in the crystal glow. The sight was incredibly distracting while Kagome tried to work up the nerve the tell Kikyo just how much she meant to her. “This is the best Christmas gift I’ve ever gotten.”

“Will you stay?” Kikyo asked, uncharacteristically abrupt.

“Huh?” Kagome said, caught off guard by the sudden urgency in Kikyo’s voice.

Kikyo squared her shoulders with resolve, holding her head with dignity; only her fingers quivered.

“You once pointed out that I have a life to live and that does not have anything to do with you. I would like it if it did. While the first part may be true, the second does not suit me.”

“What are you saying? That you… want me to stay here?” Kagome asked, voice so glassy with hope that her throat squeezed around the words.

“I want you to stay with _me_.” Kikyo’s voice was as rigidly composed as the rest of her body, but her eyes betrayed her. Kagome was transfixed by the wild, exquisite passions that danced behind Kikyo’s eyes.

Kagome had a feeling they were speaking the same sacred language.

“Stay with you for how long?”

“For as long as it suits us.” Kikyo paused before qualifying, “I would prefer always.”

" _Always_." Kagome repeated in an astonished whisper, feeling like her throat might close entirely. Her veins thrummed with exhileration.

Kagome could no longer resist the desire to take Kikyo’s hand. Kikyo’s grip tightened around hers. Kagome tucked a stray hair behind Kikyo’s ear, letting her knuckles graze Kikyo’s cheek.

“You remembered everything I told you. Do you remember who I said Christmas Eve is for?” Kagome’s knuckles skimmed Kikyo’s cheekbones again.

Kikyo’s hooded eyes darted around Kagome’s face, landing on her lips.

“Yes.” She said huskily. “That it is for lovers.”

_Lovers_. She made it sound so poetic.

Kikyo’s breath hitched when Kagome placed an ardent kiss to their interlaced fingers.

“I would love to stay with you. Always works for me too.”

Kikyo looked absolutely thunderstruck. Her composure crumbled as hope grew from a flicker to a conflagration that took over her features. Her face flickered between disbelief, yearning, and vulnerability in rapid succession.

Kagome knew what question she wanted to ask.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yes.” Kikyo answered in watery amazement.

Kagome cradled Kikyo’s face in her hands and pulled her into a gentle kiss. Their lips slid together with the thrilling uncertainty of a first kiss between new lovers. Kikyo response was tentative yet eager; she soon tilted her head to deepen the kiss. 

Kissing Kikyo was nothing like Kagome had ever expected. What Kikyo lacked in verbosity, she told entire monologues through touch. Kikyo told her a tale of pining and fragile hopes with the insistence of her lips and the bow of her head. Kagome responded in kind.

Kikyo started trembling so hard Kagome pulled back an inch, fearing she’d overwhelmed her. Kagome stroked Kikyo’s cheek with her thumb in askance. Kikyo thawed into Kagome’s hand, sighing against her palm.

As if the taut violin string that held her together had snapped, Kikyo sprang forward. She pressed her hands to Kagome’s back, locking them together in a unyeilding embrace. She kissed Kagome again with urgency, like doing so would ease the burden of long repressed desires. Kagome bowed under the passion, flushed with bliss from the intensity of Kikyo’s unbridled affections. She moved one hand to Kikyo’s hair, first to push her bangs out of her face, then just running her fingers through her silky tresses. Her other thumb danced circles over Kikyo’s cheek, trying to soothe her frenzy.

_It’s okay_ , Kagome said with fingers tangled in her hair. _We’ve got time_.

When they parted, Kagome grazed her nose along Kikyo’s jaw, leaving feather light kisses along the way. She moved her hands to Kikyo’s arms so she could lay her head on her shoulder. She breathed against Kikyo’s neck contentedly, giving her the chance to calm down.

Kagome clutched Kikyo’s shoulders like she needed to be in Kikyo’s arms more than she needed air. With no space between them, Kagome realized this was what _right_ felt like. Kikyo made her feel right.

Kikyo pressed her lips to Kagome’s forehead, and confessed against her skin. “I had hoped—but, I could not be sure that you would—” she released a shuddering breath “I feared you would not—”

“Shhhh.” Kagome said, trying to calm herself down too. She lifted her head and backed up enough to look Kikyo in the eye. “Slow down. I’m not going anywhere.”

Kikyo’s eyes were raw. The ghost of possible rejection marred her features like a nightmare she had not shaken. Kagome wanted to wipe it away and banish it forever.

“I thought I was content to keep my affections to myself. I assumed you and Inuyasha—or if not him, then eventually some other man—” She shook her head in frustration, trying to find the words to say what she could not say through touch.

Kagome grieved for her, for both of them, for the wasted time spent harboring the same misconception about the other. For the agony wasted over the Inuyasha shaped specter between them which, in the light, turned out to be composed only of fear.

Kagome knew Kikyo loathed feeling frazzled, so she tried to help her. “What changed?”

Kikyo’s eyebrows crumpled in concentration, finding the words to paint her picture. “I wanted to see you the night you fell into the frozen lake. When I approached the hut, it was immediately apparent something was wrong. So great was my worry, that even though Inuyasha would see me, I was willing to risk it to see you. What followed when I arrived was… less than ideal. But I could not leave when I knew something was wrong. Then you emerged, mad with fever on the verge of death, and I knew: nothing else mattered.” Kikyo pressed a kiss to Kagome’s forehead. “You were in need; I could not let anything keep me from going to your side.”

“I was so happy when you showed up.” Kagome confessed with a watery laugh against Kikyo’s neck. “I don’t remember much else, but I remember you.”

Kikyo cradled her like she was precious, fleeting; made of mist that could evaporate at any moment.

“Only you could make me stay. That’s when I knew I could not hide my feelings any longer.”

Kagome tried to hold back a sob, but the waterworks started anyway.

Alarmed, Kikyo asked, “What’s wrong?”

Kagome pulled back with a giggle and wiped a stray tear. “Nothing at all. I’m just so lucky. How often do people get to be with exactly who they want? And get the perfect Christmas gift as a cherry on top?” Kagome’s eyes widened in horror. “I don’t even have a gift for you!”

Kikyo smiled devotedly. “I do not need—”

“Next year!” Kagome interjected, mind already whirring with ideas. “Next Christmas Eve I’m going to give you a gift that’s going to blow you away. I’m going to start planning right now.” Kagome started pacing thoughtfully, “I’m going to have to learn every single thing about you: what’s your favorite color? Favorite season? Favorite flower?”

“I am…unsure.” Kikyo responded with hushed curiosity; as if these had not occurred to her—at least not for a very long time.

Determination set Kagome’s brow. “Then we’ll just have to figure it all out together. However long it takes.” She pressed a tender kiss to Kikyo’s wrist, who gazed wetly at the spot like her heart had been shattered put back together.

Kagome tapped her chin thoughtfully; reflecting on bravery, tenderness, and grand romantic gestures that Kikyo deserved.

“Do you happen to know of any caves that are somehow more magical and romantic than this one? I’ve got some planning to do.”

Giddily, Kikyo snorted with laughter.

“Was that a snort?” Kagome asked merrily. “That was so cute! Do it again.”

“No!” Kikyo exclaimed in embarrassment. Nonetheless, Kikyo’s nose crinkled with mirth, and her incandescent laughter filled the cave with light.

Compelled by the beauty of Kikyo’s laughter, Kagome leaned forward and kissed her nose, eliciting more laughs. Then each cheek, then her forehead—all over her face all while Kikyo continued to laugh.

Kagome wanted to drown in the miraculous sound.

She pitied those poor souls who would live and die without hearing the sound, never even knowing what they were missing.

But finally, Kagome allowed herself to bask in the joy of being in Kikyo’s arms. Of knowing that, among all the choices laid out before Kikyo in her glorious second life, she had chosen Kagome.

* * *

Kikyo is indifferent to the cold.

It doesn’t touch her much these days, anyway.

Wherever they go, whoever they face, Kagome keeps the cold at bay.

Kikyo delights in the miraculous impossibility of her new life—one where she bathes in perpetual summer.


End file.
